Vigyan Bhairav Tantra Volume 1 Chapter 17
"Several stop techniques"
8 December 1972 pm in Woodlands, Bombay
25. JUST AS YOU HAVE THE IMPULSE TO DO SOMETHING, STOP.
26. WHEN SOME DESIRE COMES, CONSIDER IT. THEN, SUDDENLY, QUIT IT.
27. ROAM ABOUT UNTIL EXHAUSTED AND THEN, DROPPING TO THE GROUND, IN THIS DROPPING BE WHOLE.
Life has two balances: one is of being and the other of doing. Your being is your nature. It is with you always; you have not to do anything to get it. It is already the case, you are it. It is not that you possess it, not even that a distance exists between you and it -- you are it. You are your being. Doing is an achievement. Whatsoever you do is not already the case. If you do it, it will happen; if you do not do it, it will not happen. All that is not already the case is not your being.
To exist, to survive, you have to do much. And then, by and by, your activity becomes a barrier to knowing your being. Your activity is your circumference -- you live on it, you cannot live without it. But it is only the circumference; it is not you, it is not the center. Whatsoever you have is the achievement of your doing; having is the result of doing. But the center is surrounded, engulfed by your doing and your having.
The first thing to note before we proceed into these techniques is that whatsoever you have is not your being, and whatsoever you do or can do is not your being. Your being precedes all doing. Your being precedes all your possessions, all your having. But the mind is constantly involved in doing and having. Beyond mind or below mind exists your being. How to penetrate into that center is what religions have been seeking. This is what has always been the search of all those who are interested in knowing the basic reality of human existence, the ultimate core, the substance of your being. Unless you understand this division between the circumference and the center, you will not be able to understand these sutras which we are going to discuss.
So note the distinction. Whatsoever you have -- money, knowledge, prestige, whatsoever you have -- it is not you. You have them, they are your possessions; you are different from them. Secondly, whatsoever you do is not your being. You may do it or you may not do it. For example, you laugh, but you may laugh or you may not laugh. You run, but you may run or you may not run. But you are and there is no choice. You cannot choose your being. You are already there.
Action is a choice. You may choose, you may not choose. You may do "this," you may not do "this." You may become a saint or you may become a thief, but your sainthood and your thiefhood are both doings. You can choose, you can change. A saint can become a thief and a thief can become a saint. But that is not your being: your being precedes your sainthood, your thiefhood.
Whenever you have to do something, you have to be there already; otherwise you cannot do it. Who runs? Who laughs? Who steals? Who becomes a saint? The being must precede all activity. The activity can be chosen, but being cannot be chosen. The being is the chooser, not the chosen, and you cannot choose the chooser -- he is already there. You cannot do anything about him. Remember this: having, doing, are with you just as a circumference is with the center, but you are the center.
This center is the self, or you may call it the ATMAN or whatsoever name you like. This center is your innermost point. How to reach it? And unless one reaches it, knows it, unless one realizes it, one cannot reach to a blissful state which is eternal, one cannot know the deathless, one cannot know the divine. Unless one realizes this center, one will remain in misery, anguish and suffering. The circumference is the hell. These techniques are the means to enter into this center.
The first technique:
25. JUST AS YOU HAVE THE IMPULSE TO DO SOMETHING, STOP.
All these techniques are concerned with stopping in the middle. George Gurdjieff made these techniques very well-known in the West, but he was not aware of VIGYANA BHAIRAVA TANTRA. He learned these techniques in Tibet from Buddhist lamas. He worked on these techniques in the West, and many, many seekers came to realize the center through these techniques. He called them stop exercises, but the source of these exercises is VIGYANA BHAIRAVA TANTRA.
Buddhists learned from VIGYANA BHAIRAVA. Sufis also have such exercises; they are also borrowed from VIGYANA BHAIRAVA. Basically, this is the source book of all techniques which are known all over the world.
Gurdjieff used it in a very simple way. For example, he would tell his students to dance. A group would be dancing -- a group of, say, twenty people would be dancing -- and suddenly he would say, "Stop!" And the moment Gurdjieff would say stop, they would have to stop totally. Wherever the pause would fall, they would have to stop then and there. No change could be made, no adjustment could be made. If one of your feet was above the earth and you were just standing on one foot, you would have to remain that way. If you fell, that was another thing, but you were not to cooperate with the fall. If your eyes were opened, they had to remain opened. Now you could not close them. If they closed by themselves, that was another thing. But as far as you were concerned, consciously you had stopped, you had become just like a stone statue.
Miracles happened because in activity, in dance, in movement, when suddenly you stop, a gap happens. This sudden stoppage of all activity divides you into two: your body and you. Your body and you were in movement. Suddenly you stop. The body has the tendency to move. It was in movement, so there is momentum; you were dancing, and there is momentum. The body is not ready for this sudden stop. Suddenly you feel that the body has the impulse to do something, but you have stopped. A gap comes into existence. You feel your body as something distant, far away, with the impulse to move, with momentum for activity. And because you have stopped and you are not cooperating with the body and its activity and its impulse, its momentum, you become separate from it.
But you can deceive yourself. A slight cooperation and the gap will not happen. For example, you feel uncomfortable, but the teacher has said, "Stop!" You have heard the word, but still you make yourself comfortable and then you stop. Then nothing will happen. Then you have deceived yourself, not the teacher, because you missed the point. The whole point of the technique is missed. Suddenly, when you hear the word "Stop!" instantly you have to stop, not doing anything.
Perhaps the posture was inconvenient, you were afraid you might fall down, you might break a bone. But whatsoever happens, now it is not your concern. If you have any concern, you will deceive yourself. This suddenly becoming dead creates a gap. The stopping is at the body and the stopper is the center; the circumference and the center are separate. In that sudden stopping you can feel yourself for the first time; you can feel the center. Gurdjieff used this technique to help many.
This technique has many dimensions; it can be used in many ways. But first try to understand the mechanism. The mechanism is simple. You are in activity, and when you are in activity you forget yourself completely; the activity becomes the center of your attention.
Someone has died, and you are weeping and crying, and tears are falling down. You have forgotten yourself completely. The one who has died has become the center, and around that center this activity is happening -- your weeping, your crying, your sadness, your tears. If I suddenly say to you, "Stop!" and you stop yourself completely, you will be totally taken away from your body and the realm of activity. Whenever you are in activity, you are in it, deeply absorbed in it. Sudden stoppage throws you off balance; it throws you out of activity. This being thrown leads you to the center.
Ordinarily, what are we doing? From one activity we move to another. We go on from one activity to another, from A to B and from B to C. In the morning, the moment you are awake activity has started. Now you will be active the whole day. You will change to many activities, but you will not be inactive for a single moment. How to be inactive? It is difficult. And if you try to be inactive, your effort to be inactive will become an activity.
There are many who are trying to be inactive. They sit in a Buddha posture and they try to be inactive. But how can you try to be inactive? The very effort is again an activity. So you can convert inactivity also into activity. You can force yourself to be quiet, still, but that forcing is an activity of the mind. That is why so many try to go into meditation but never reach anywhere -- because their meditation is again an activity. They can change... If you were singing an ordinary song, you can now change to a BHAJAN, to a devotional song. You can sing slow now, but both are activities. You are running, you are walking, you are reading -- these are activities. You can pray -- that too is an activity. You move from one activity to another.
And with the last thing in the night, when you are falling into sleep, you are still active; the activity has not stopped. That is why dreams happen, because the activity goes on. You have fallen asleep, but the activity continues. In the subconscious you are still active -- doing things, possessing things, losing things, moving. Dreaming means you have fallen asleep because of exertion, but the activity is still there continuously.
Only sometimes, for a few moments -- and these have become more and more rare for the modern man -- only for a few moments dreaming stops and you are totally asleep. But then that inactivity is unconscious. You are not conscious, you are fast asleep. The activity has ceased; now there is no circumference, now you are at the center -- but totally exhausted, totally dead, unconscious.
That is why Hindus have always been saying that SUSHUPTI -- dreamless sleep -- and SAMADHI -- the ultimate ecstasy -- are similar, the same, with only one difference. But the difference is great: the difference is of awareness. In sushupti, in dreamless sleep, you are at the center of your being -- but unaware. In samadhi, in the ultimate ecstasy, in the ultimate state of meditation, also you are at the center -- but aware. That is the difference, but it is a great difference, because if you are unaware, even if you are at the center it is meaningless. It refreshes you, it makes you more alive again, it gives you vitality -- in the morning you feel fresh and blissful -- but if you are unaware, even if you are at the center your life remains the same.
In samadhi you enter yourself fully conscious, fully alert. And once you are at the center fully alert, you will never be the same again. Now you will know who you are. Now you will know that your possessions, your actions are just on the periphery; they are just the ripples, not your nature.
The mechanism of these techniques of stopping is to throw you suddenly into inactivity. The point must come suddenly, because if you try to be inactive you will turn it into activity. So do not try, and suddenly be inactive. That is the meaning of "Stop!" You are running and I say, "Stop!" Do not try, just stop! If you try, you will miss the point. For example, you are sitting here. If I say stop, then stop immediately then and there; not a single moment is to be missed. If you try and adjust, and you settle down and then say, "Okay, now I will stop," you have missed the point. SUDDENLY is the base, so do not make any effort to stop -- just stop!
You can try it anywhere. You are taking your bath -- suddenly order yourself to "Stop!" and stop. Even if it is only for a single moment, you will feel a different phenomenon happening within you. You are thrown to the center and suddenly everything stops -- not only the body. When the body stops totally, your mind stops also. When you say, "Stop!" do not breathe then. Let everything stop... no breathing, no body movement. For a single moment remain in this stop, and you will feel you have penetrated suddenly, at rocket speed, to the center. And even a glimpse is miraculous, revolutionary. It changes you, and by and by you can have more clear glimpses of the center. That is why inactivity is not to be practiced. Use it suddenly, when you are unaware.
So a master can be helpful. This is a group method. Gurdjieff used it as a group method because if you say "Stop!" you can deceive yourself easily. First you make yourself comfortable and then you say "Stop!" Or even if consciously you have not made any preparation for it, unconsciously you may be prepared. Then you may say, "Now I can stop." If it is done by the mind, if there is a planning behind it, it is useless; then the technique will not be of any help. So in a group it is good. A master is working with you, and he says, "Stop!" He will find moments when you are in a very inconvenient posture, and then a flash happens, a sudden lightning.
Activity can be practiced; inactivity cannot be practiced -- and if you practice it, it becomes just another activity. You can be inactive only suddenly. Sometimes it happens that you are driving a car, and suddenly you feel there is going to be an accident, that another car has reached near yours and in just a moment there will be a crash. Suddenly your mind stops, breathing stops, everything stops. So many times in such accidents one is thrown to the center. But you may miss the point even in an accident.
I was in a car and there was an accident, and one of the most beautiful accidents possible. Three persons were with me, but they missed the whole thing completely. It could have been a revolution in their lives, but they missed. The car went down into a river bed, into a dry river bed, from a bridge. The car was totally upside down, and the three persons with me began crying; they began weeping.
One woman was there and she was crying. She was just beside me and she was crying, "I am dead! I am dead!"
I told her, "If you were dead, then no one would be here to say this."
But she was trembling, and she said, "I am dead! What will happen to my children?" Even after we carried her out of the car she was trembling and saying the same thing: "What will happen to my children? I am dead!" It took at least half an hour for her to calm down.
She missed the point. It was such a beautiful thing: suddenly she could have stopped everything. And one couldn't do anything. The car was falling from the bridge, so her activity was not needed at all. One couldn't do anything. But still the mind can create activity. She started thinking about her children, and then she began crying, "I am dead!" A subtle moment was missed. In dangerous situations the mind stops automatically. Why? Because mind is a mechanism and it can work with only routine things -- that which it has been trained to do.
You cannot train your mind for accidents, otherwise they would not be called accidents. If you are ready, if you have passed through rehearsals, then they are not accidents. `Accident' means that the mind is not ready to do anything. The thing is so sudden, it leaps from the unknown -- mind cannot do anything. It is not ready, it is not trained for it. It is bound to stop unless you start something else, unless you start something for which you are trained.
This woman who was crying about her children was not at all attentive to what was happening. She was not even aware that she was alive. The present moment was not in her focus of consciousness. She had moved away from the situation to her children, to death and to other things. She had escaped. As far as her attention was concerned, she had escaped from the situation completely.
But as far as the situation was concerned, nothing could be done; one could only be aware. Whatsoever was happening was happening. One could only be aware. As far as the present moment is concerned, in an accident what can you do? It is already beyond you, and the mind is not prepared for it. The mind cannot function, so the mind stops.
That is why dangers have a secret appeal, an intrinsic appeal: they are meditative moments. If you race a car and it goes beyond ninety miles per hour, and then beyond one hundred and then beyond one hundred and ten and beyond one hundred and twenty, then a situation comes in which anything can happen and you will not be able to do anything. Now really, the car is beyond control, going beyond control. Suddenly the mind cannot function; it is not ready for it. That is the thrill of speed -- because a silence creeps in, you are thrown to the center.
These techniques help you to move to the center without any accidents, without any danger. But remember, you cannot practice them. When I say you cannot practice them, what do I mean? In a way you can practice them: suddenly you can stop. But the stopping must be sudden, you must not be prepared for it. You should not think about it and plan it and say that "At twelve o'clock I will stop." Let the unknown happen to you when you are unprepared. Move in the unknown, the uncharted, without any knowledge. This is one technique: JUST AS YOU HAVE THE IMPULSE TO DO SOMETHING, STOP. This is one dimension.
For example, you have the impulse to sneeze. You are feeling that the impulse is coming, you are feeling the sneeze coming. Now a moment comes when you cannot do anything -- it will happen. But in the very beginning of the feeling, when you feel the sensation of a sneeze coming to you, the moment you become aware, stop! What can you do? Can you stop the sneeze? If you try to stop the sneeze, the sneeze will come sooner, because stopping will make your mind more conscious about it and you will feel the sensation more. You will become more sensitive, your total attention will be there, and that attention will help the sneeze to come out sooner. It will become unbearable. You cannot stop the sneeze directly, but you can stop yourself.
What can you do? You feel the sensation that the sneeze is coming: stop! Do not try to stop the sneeze, just you yourself stop. Do not do anything. Remain completely unmoving, with not even your breath going in or coming out. For a moment, stop, and you will feel that the impulse has gone back, that it has dropped. And in this dropping of the impulse a subtle energy is released which is used in going toward the center, because in a sneeze you are throwing some energy out -- in any impulse.
`Impulse' means you are burdened with some energy which you cannot use and cannot absorb. It wants to move out, it wants to be thrown out; you want a relief. That is why after you sneeze you will feel good, a subtle well-being. Nothing has happened, you have simply released some energy which was superfluous, a burden. Now it is no more there; you are relieved of it. Then you feel a subtle relaxation inside.
That is why physiologists, Pavlov, B. F. Skinner and others, say sex is also like sneezing. They say physiologically there is no difference, sex is just like sneezing. You are overburdened with energy; you want to throw it out. Once it is thrown out your mechanism relaxes, you become unburdened. Then you feel good. That good feeling is just a release, according to physiologists, and as far as physiology goes they are right. Whenever you have some impulse, JUST AS YOU HAVE THE IMPULSE TO DO SOMETHING, STOP! Not only with a physiological impulse, any impulse can be used.
For example, you were going to drink a glass of water. You have touched the water, the glass -- suddenly stop. Let the hand be there, let the desire to drink, the thirst be there inside, but you stop completely. The glass is outside, the thirst is inside; the hand is on the glass, the eyes are on the glass -- stop suddenly. No breathing, no movement, as if you have become dead. The very impulse, the thirst, will release energy, and that energy is used for going to the center. You will be thrown to the center. Why? Because any impulse is a movement outward. Remember, `impulse' means energy moving outward.
Remember another thing: energy is always in movement -- either going out or coming in. Energy can never be static. These are the laws. If you understand the laws, then the mechanism of the technique will be easy. Energy is always in movement. Either it is moving out or moving in; energy can never be static. If it is static it is not energy, and there is nothing which is not energy, so everything is moving somewhere.
When an impulse, any impulse, comes to you, it means energy is moving out. That is why your hand goes to the glass -- you have moved out. A desire has come to do something. All activities are movements toward that which is without from that which is within -- movements from within to without.
When you stop suddenly, the energy cannot be static in you. You have become static, but the energy cannot be static in you, and the mechanism through which it was moving out is not dead, it has stopped. So what can the energy do? The energy cannot do anything other than move inward. Energy cannot be static. It was going out. You have stopped, the mechanism has stopped, but the mechanism which can lead it toward the center is there. This energy will move inward.
You are converting your energy and changing its dimension every moment without knowing it. You are angry, and you feel to beat someone or to destroy something or to do something violent -- try this. Take someone -- your friend, your wife, your child, anyone -- and hug, kiss or embrace him or her. You were angry, you were going to destroy something; you wanted to do some violent thing. Your mind was destructive; the energy was moving toward violence. Love someone immediately.
In the beginning you may feel that this is just like acting. You will wonder, "How can I love? How can I love in this moment? I am angry!" You do not know the mechanism. In this moment you can love deeply because the energy has been aroused, it has arisen. It has come to a point where it wants to be expressed, and energy needs movement. If you just start loving someone, the same energy will move into love and you will feel a rush of energy that you may not have ever felt.
There are persons who cannot go into love unless they are angry, unless they are violent. There are people who can only go into deep love when their energy is moving violently. You may not have observed, but it happens daily: couples will fight before they make love. Wives and husbands fight, become angry, become violent, and then they make love, and they may not have understood what was happening. Then it becomes a mechanical habit -- whenever they fight they will love. And the day they do not fight they will not be able to love.
Particularly in Indian villages, where wives are still beaten, if a certain husband stops beating his wife it is known that now he has stopped loving her. And even wives understand that if the husband has become totally nonviolent toward them, it means the love has stopped. He is not fighting, so it means he is not loving.
Why? Why is fight so associated with love? It is associated because the same energy can move in different dimensions. You may call it "love" or "hate." They look opposite, but they are not so opposite, because the same energy is moving. So a person who becomes incapable of hate becomes incapable of love, according to your definitions of love. A person who cannot be violently angry becomes incapable of the love which you know. He may be capable of a different quality of love, but that is not your love. A Buddha loves, but that love is totally different. That is why Buddha calls it compassion; he never calls it love. It is more like compassion, less like your love, because your love implies hate, anger, violence.
Energy can move, can change directions. It can become hate, it can become love -- the same energy. And the same energy can move inward also, so whenever you have the impulse to do something, Stop! This is not suppression. You are not suppressing anything, you are just playing with energy -- just playing with energy and knowing the workings of it, how it works inwardly. But remember, the impulse must be real and authentic; otherwise nothing will happen.
For example, when there is no thirst you move to a glass of water and then suddenly you stop. Nothing will happen because there is nothing to happen -- the energy was not moving. You were feeling love toward your wife, your husband, your friend. You wanted to hug, to kiss -- stop! But the impulse must be there authentically. If the impulse is not there and you were just going to console someone, to kiss because the kiss is expected, and then you stop, then nothing will happen because nothing was moving inside.
So first remember, the impulse must be authentic, real. Only with a real impulse does energy move, and when a real impulse is suddenly stopped the energy becomes suspended. With no dimension from where to move out, it turns in. It has to move, it cannot remain there.
But we are so false that nothing seems real. You eat your meal because of the clock, because of the time, not because of hunger. So if you stop, nothing will happen because there was really no hunger behind it, no impulse. No energy was moving there. That is why if you take your meal at one o'clock, at one o'clock you will feel the hunger. But the hunger is false; it is just a mechanical habit, just a dead habit. Your body is not hungry. If you do not eat you will feel something is missing, but if you can remain for one hour without eating you will forget it, the hunger will have subsided.
A real hunger will grow more; it is bound to grow. If your hunger was real, then at two you will feel more hungry. If the hunger was false, then at two you will have completely forgotten. Really, there will be no hunger at two. Even if you want to eat, now you will not feel hungry. The hunger was just a false, mechanical feeling. No energy was moving, it was just the mind saying to you that now this is the time to eat, so eat.
If you are feeling sleepy, stop! But the feeling must be real; that is the problem. And that is the problem for us now. It was not so in Shiva's time. When the VIGYANA BHAIRAVA TANTRA was preached for the first time, it was not so. Man was authentic, humanity was real, pure, nothing was false about it. With us everything is false. You pretend that you love; you pretend that you are angry. You go on pretending and then you forget yourself whether you are pretending or whether anything real is left. You never say what is in you, you never express it. You go on expressing what is not there. Watch yourself and you will come to know it.
You say something, but you feel something else. Really, you wanted to say quite the opposite, but if you say the real thing you will become totally unfit -- because the whole society is false, and in a false society you can exist only as a false person. The more adjusted, the more false, because if you want to be real you will feel a maladjustment.
That is why renunciation came into existence, because of a false society. Buddha had to leave not because it had any positive meaning, but only a negative meaning -- because with a false society you cannot be real. Or at every moment you are in a constant struggle, unnecessarily and dissipating energy. So leave the unreal, leave the false, so that you can be real. That was the basic reason for all renunciation.
But watch yourself, how unreal you are. Watch the double mind. You are saying something, but you are feeling quite the contrary. Simultaneously, you are saying one thing in your mind and something else without. Thus, if you stop anything which is not real, the technique will not help. So find something authentic about yourself and try to stop that. Not everything has become false, many things are still real. Fortunately, everyone is real sometimes; in some moment everyone is real. Then stop it.
You are feeling angry, and you feel it is real. You are going to destroy something, beat your child, or do something: Stop! But do not stop with a consideration. Do not say, "Anger is bad, so I should stop" -- no ! Do not say, "This is not going to help the child, so I should stop." No mental consideration is needed, because if you consider, then the energy has moved into consideration. This is an inner mechanism.
If you say, "I should not beat my child because it is not going to do any good to him, and this is not good for me also. This is useless and this never helps," the same energy which was going to become anger has become consideration. Now you have considered the whole thing, and the energy has subsided. It has moved into consideration, into thinking. Then you stop, but then there is no energy to move in. When you feel angry, do not consider it, do not think about it being good or bad; do not think at all. Suddenly remember the technique and stop!
Anger is pure energy... nothing bad, nothing good. It may become good, it may become bad -- that will depend on the result, not on the energy. It can become bad if it goes out and destroys something, if it becomes destructive. It may become a beautiful ecstasy if it moves within and throws you to the center; it may become a flower. Energy is simply energy -- pure, innocent, neutral. Do not consider it. You were going to do something -- do not think, simply stop and then remain stopped. In that remaining you will have a glimpse of the inner center. You will forget the periphery and the center will come into your vision.
Just as you have the impulse to do something, Stop! Try it. Remember three things... One, try it only when a real impulse is there. Secondly, do not think about stopping, just stop. And thirdly, wait! When you have stopped, no breathing, no movement -- wait and see what happens. Do not try. When I say to wait, I mean do not try now to think about the inner center. Then you will again miss. Do not think of the self, of the atman. Do not think that now the glimpse is there, now the glimpse is coming. Do not think, just wait. Let the impulse, the energy move by itself. If you start thinking about the brahman and the atman and the center, the energy will have moved into this thinking.
You can waste this inner energy very simply. Just a thought will be enough to give it a direction; then you will go on thinking. When I say stop, it means stop totally, fully. Nothing is moving, as if the whole time has stopped. There is no movement -- simply you are! In that simple existence, suddenly the center explodes.
The second technique:
26. WHEN SOME DESIRE COMES, CONSIDER IT. THEN, SUDDENLY, QUIT IT.
This is a different dimension of the same technique. WHEN SOME DESIRE COMES, CONSIDER IT. THEN, SUDDENLY, QUIT IT. You feel a desire -- a desire for sex, a desire for love, a desire for food, anything. You feel a desire: consider it. When the sutra says consider it, it means do not think for or against it, just consider the desire, what it is.
A sexual desire comes to the mind. You say, "This is bad." This is not consideration. You have been taught that this is bad, so you are not considering this desire, you are consulting the scriptures, you are consulting the past -- the past teachers, the RISHIS -- sages. You are not considering the desire itself, you are considering something else. You are considering many things; your conditioning, your upbringing, your education, your culture, your civilization, your religion -- but not the desire.
This simple desire has come. Do not bring in the mind, the past, the education, the conditioning; do not bring in values. Just consider this desire -- what it is. If your mind could be washed completely of all that has been given to you by the society, of all that your parents have given to you -- the education, the culture -- if your total mind could be washed out, the desire for sex will arise. It will arise, because that desire is not given to you by the society. That desire is biologically built in; it is in you.
For example, if a child is born and no language is taught, the child will not learn any language. He will remain without language. A language is a social phenomenon; it has to be taught. But when the right moment comes, the child will feel sexual desire. That is not a social phenomenon, it is biologically built in. The desire will come at the right mature moment. It is not social, it is biological -- deeper. It is built into your cells.
Because you were born out of sex, every cell of your body is a sex cell; you consist of sex cells. Unless your biology can be washed off completely, the desire will be there. It will come -- it is already there. When a child is born the desire is already there, because the child is a by-product of a sexual meeting. He comes through sex; his whole body is built with sex cells. The desire is there, only a time is needed before his body becomes mature enough to feel that desire, to enact that desire. The desire will be there whether you are taught that sex is bad or good, whether you are not taught that sex is hell or heaven, whether you are taught this way or that way, for or against -- because both are teachings.
The old traditions, the old religions, Christianity particularly, they go on preaching against sex. The new cults of hippies and yippies and others have started the opposite movement. They say sex is good, sex is ecstatic, sex is the only real thing in the world. Both are teachings. Do not consider your desire according to some teaching. Just consider the desire in its purity, as it is -- a fact. Do not interpret it.
Consideration here means not interpreting, but just looking at the fact as it is. The desire is there: look at it directly, immediately. Do not bring in your thoughts or ideas, because no thought is yours and no idea is yours. Everything has been given to you, every idea is a borrowed thing. No thought is original -- no thought can be original. Do not bring in thinking, just look at the desire, at what it is, as if you do not know anything about it. Face it! Encounter it! That is what is meant by CONSIDER IT.
WHEN SOME DESIRE COMES, CONSIDER IT. Just look at the fact -- at what it is. Unfortunately, it is one of the most difficult things to do. Compared to this, reaching to the moon is not so difficult or reaching to the peak of Everest is not so difficult. It is highly complicated -- reaching to the moon is highly complicated, infinitely complicated, a very complex phenomenon. But compared to living with a fact of the inner mind it is nothing, because the mind is so subtly involved in everything you do. It is always there. Look at the word... If I say, "Sex," the moment I say it you have decided for or against. The moment I say, "Sex," you have interpreted: "This is not good. This is bad." Or, "This is good." You have interpreted even the word.
Many persons came to me when the book FROM SEX TO SUPERCONSCIOUSNESS was published. They came and they said, "Please change the title. The very word `sex' makes them disturbed -- they have not read the book. And those who have already read the book also say to change the title.
Why? The very word gives you a certain interpretation. Mind is so interpretive that if I say "Lemon juice," your saliva starts flowing. You have interpreted the words. In the words `lemon juice' there is nothing like lemon, but your saliva starts flowing. If I wait for a few moments, you will become uneasy because you will have to swallow. The mind has interpreted; it has come in. Even with words you cannot remain aloof, without interpreting. It will be very difficult, when a desire arises, to remain aloof, to remain just a dispassionate observer, calm and quiet, looking at the fact, not interpreting it.
I say, "This man is a Mohammedan" The moment I say, "This man is a Mohammedan," the Hindu has thought that this man is bad. If I say, "This man is a Jew," the Christian has decided that this man is not good. The very word `Jew', and in the Christian mind comes the interpretation; the traditional, conventional idea flares up. This Jew is not to be considered, the old interpretation will have to be imposed on this Jew.
Every Jew is a different Jew. Every Hindu is a different, unique individual. You cannot interpret him because you know other Hindus. You may have come to conclude that all the Hindus you have known are bad, but this Hindu is not in your experience. You are interpreting this Hindu according to your past experience. Do not interpret, interpretation is not consideration. Consideration means consider THIS fact -- absolutely this fact. Remain with this fact.
Rishis have said that sex is bad. It may have been bad for them; you do not know. You have the desire, a fresh desire, with you. Consider it, look at it, be attentive to it. THEN, SUDDENLY, QUIT IT.
There are two parts to this technique. First, remain with the fact -- aware, attentive of what is happening. When you feel a sexual desire, what is happening in you? See how you become feverish, how your body begins to tremble, how you feel a sudden madness creeping in, how you feel as if you are possessed by something else. Feel it, consider it. Do not exercise any judgement, just move into this fact -- the fact of sexual desire. Do not say it is bad!
If you have said that, the consideration has stopped, you have closed the door. Now your face is not toward the desire -- your back is. You have moved away from it. You have missed a moment in which you could have gone deep down into your biological layer of being. You are clinging to the social layer, which is the uppermost.
Sex is deeper than your SHASTRAS -- scriptures -- because it is biological. If all the shastras can be destroyed -- and they can be destroyed, many times they have been -- your interpretation will be lost. But sex will remain; it is deeper. Do not bring superficial things in. Just consider the fact and move within, and feel what is happening to you. What happened to particular rishis, to Mohammed and Mahavir, is irrelevant. What is happening to you this very moment? This alive moment, what is happening to you?
Consider it, observe it. And then the second part... this is really beautiful. Shiva says, THEN, SUDDENLY, QUIT IT.
SUDDENLY -- remember. Do not say, "This is bad, so I am going to leave it. I am not going to move with this idea, this desire. This is bad, this is sin, so I will stop it, I will suppress it." Then a suppression will happen, but not a meditative state of mind. And suppression is really creating by your own hands a deceived being and mind.
Suppression is psychological. You are disturbing the whole mechanism and suppressing energies which are going to burst out any day. The energy is there, you have simply suppressed it. It has not moved out, it has not moved in, you have simply suppressed it. It has simply moved sideways. It will wait and it will become perverted, and perverted energy is the basic problem with man.
Psychological diseases are by-products of perverted energy. Then it will take such shapes, such forms, which are not even imaginable, and in those forms it will try again to be expressed. And when it is expressed in a perverted form, it leads you into a very, very deep anguish, because there is no satisfaction in any perverted form. And you cannot remain perverted, you have to express it. Suppression creates perversion. This sutra is not concerned with suppression. This sutra is not saying to control, this sutra is not saying to suppress. The sutra says, SUDDENLY, QUIT IT.
What to do? The desire is there; you have considered. If you have considered it, it will not be difficult; the second part will be easy. If you have not considered it, look at your mind. Your mind will be thinking, "This is good. If we can quit sexual desire suddenly, this is beautiful." You would like to do it, but your liking is not the question. Your liking may not be your liking, but just the society's. Your liking may not be your own consideration, but just tradition. First consider, do not create any liking or disliking. Just consider, and then the second part becomes easy -- you can quit the desire.
How to quit it? When you have considered a thing totally, it is very easy; it is as easy as dropping this paper from my hand. QUIT IT... What will happen? A desire is there. You have not suppressed it and it is moving out, it is coming up; it has stirred your whole being. Really, when you consider a desire without interpretation your whole being will become a desire.
When sex is there and if you are not against it or for it, if you have no mind about it, then just by looking at the desire, your whole being will be involved in it. A single sex desire will become a flame. Your whole being will be concentrated in the flame, as if you have totally become sexual. It will not only be at the sex center, it will spread all over the body. Every fiber of your body will be trembling. The passion will have become a flame. Now, quit it. Don't fight with it, simply say, "I quit it."
What will happen? The moment you can simply say, "I quit," a separation happens. Your body -- your passionate body, your body filled with sex desire -- and you become two. Suddenly, in a moment, they are two poles apart. The body is writhing with passion and sex, and the center is silent, observing. No fight is there, just a separation -- remember this. In fight you are not separate. When you are fighting you are one with the object. When you have just quit it, you are separate. Now you can look at it as if someone else is there, not you.
One of my friends was with me for many years. He was a constant chain smoker, and he tried and tried, as smokers do, not to smoke. One day, suddenly in the morning, he would decide, "Now I am not going to smoke," and by the evening he would be smoking again. And he would feel guilty and he would defend it, and then for a few days he would not gather courage again to decide not to smoke. Then he would forget what happened. Then one day, again he would say, "Now I am not going to smoke," and I would just laugh because this had happened so many times. Then he himself became fed up with the whole thing -- with this smoking and then deciding not to smoke, and this constant vicious circle.
He wondered what to do. He asked me what to do, so I told him, "Do not be against smoking -- that is the first thing to do. Smoke, and be with it. For seven days do not be against it; do this thing."
He said, "What are you telling me? I have been against it, and even then I could not leave it, and you are saying not to be against it. Then there is no possibility of leaving it."
So I told him, "You have tried with the inimical attitude and you have been a failure. Now try the other -- the friendly attitude. Do not be against it for seven days."
Immediately he said, "Then will I be able to leave it?"
So I told him, "Then again... you are still inimical toward it. Do not think about leaving it at all. How can one think about leaving a friend? For seven days just forget it. Remain with it, cooperate with it, smoke as deeply as possible, as lovingly as possible. When you are smoking, just forget everything; become the smoking. Be totally at ease with it, in deep communion with it. For seven days, smoke as much as you like and forget about leaving it."
These seven days became a consideration. He could look at the fact of smoking. He was not against it, so now he could face it. When you are against something, or someone, you cannot face it. The very being against becomes a barrier. You cannot consider... How can you consider an enemy? You cannot look at him, you cannot look into his eyes; it is difficult to face him. You can look deeply only into the eyes of one you love; then you penetrate deep. Otherwise eyes can never meet.
So he looked into the fact deeply. For seven days he considered it. He was not against, so the energy was there, the mind was there, and it became a meditation. He had to cooperate with it; he had to become the smoker. After seven days he forgot to tell me. I was waiting for him to say, "Now the seven days have ended, so now how can I leave it?" He forgot completely about the seven days. Three weeks passed and then I asked him, "Have you forgotten completely?"
He said, "The experience has been so beautiful, I do not want to think about anything else now. It is beautiful, and for the first time I am not struggling with the fact. I am just feeling what is happening to me."
Then I told him, "Whenever you feel the urge to smoke, simply quit." He didn't ask me how to quit it, he had simply considered the whole thing and the whole thing became so childish, and there was no struggle. So I said, "When you feel again the urge to smoke, consider it, look at it, and leave it. Take the cigarette in your hand, stop for a moment, then leave the cigarette. Let it drop, and as the cigarette drops let the urge also drop inside."
He didn't ask me how to do it, because consideration makes one capable -- you can do it. And if you cannot do it, remember, you have not considered the fact. Then you were against it, all the time thinking how to leave it. Then you cannot quit it. When suddenly the urge is there and you quit it, the whole energy takes a jump inward. The technique is the same, only the dimensions differ:
WHEN SOME DESIRE COMES, CONSIDER IT. THEN, SUDDENLY, QUIT IT.
27. ROAM ABOUT UNTIL EXHAUSTED AND THEN, DROPPING TO THE GROUND, IN THIS DROPPING BE WHOLE.
The same! This technique is the same. ROAM ABOUT UNTIL EXHAUSTED. Just run in a circle. Jump, dance, and run again until you are exhausted -- until you feel that now not a single step more can be taken. But you will have to understand that your mind will say that now you are completely exhausted. Do not pay any attention to the mind. Go on running, dancing, jumping. Go on! Do not pay any attention. The mind will say that now you are exhausted, now you cannot go on any more. Continue until you feel -- not think, until you feel -- that the whole body is tired, that "A single step more has become impossible, and if I move I will fall down."
When you feel that you are falling down and now you cannot move, that the body has become heavy and tired and completely exhausted, THEN, DROPPING TO THE GROUND, IN THIS DROPPING BE WHOLE. Then drop! Remember, be so exhausted that dropping happens of itself. If you continue, you will drop. The point has come -- you are just on the verge of dropping. Then, the sutra says, drop, and IN THIS DROPPING BE WHOLE.
That is the central point in the technique: when you are dropping, be whole. What is meant? Do not drop just according to the mind -- that is one thing. Do not plan it; do not try to sit, do not try to lie down. Drop as a whole, as if the whole body is one and it has dropped. And you are not dropping it, because if you are dropping it then you have two parts: you who is dropping it and the body which has been dropped. Then you are not whole. Then you are fragmentary, divided. Drop it as a whole; drop yourself totally. And remember, drop! Do not arrange it. Fall down dead. IN THIS DROPPING BE WHOLE. If you can drop in this way, you will feel for the first time your whole being, your wholeness. You will feel for the first time your center -- not divided, but one, unitary.
How can it happen? The body has three layers of energy. One is for day-to-day affairs, which is very easily exhausted. It is just for routine work. The second is for emergency affairs; it is a deeper layer. When you are in an emergency, only then is it used. And the third is the cosmic energy, which is infinite. The first can be easily exhausted. If I say to you to run, you will take three or four rounds and you will say, "I am feeling tired." Really, you are not feeling tired -- the first layer is exhausted. In the morning it will not be so easily exhausted; in the evening it will be exhausted very easily because the whole day you have been using it. Now it needs repair; you will need a deep sleep. From the cosmic reservoir it can again get energy enough to work. This is the first layer.
If I tell you to run just now, you will say, "I am feeling sleepy, I cannot run." And then someone comes and says, "Your house is on fire." Suddenly the sleepiness has gone. There is no tiredness, you feel fresh; you start running. What has happened so suddenly? You were tired, and the emergency has made you connected with the second layer of energy, so you are fresh again. This is the second layer. In this technique, the second layer has to be exhausted. The first layer is exhausted very easily. Continue. You will feel tired, but continue. And within a few moments a new surge of energy will come, and you will feel again renewed and there will be no tiredness.
So many people come to me and they say, "When we are in a meditation camp, it seems miraculous that we can do this much. In the morning, for one hour meditating actively, chaotically, going completely mad. And then in the afternoon we do an hour, and then in the night also. Three times a day we can go on meditating chaotically." Many have said that they feel that this is impossible, that they cannot continue and they will be dead tired, and the next day it will be impossible to move any limb of the body. But no one gets tired. Three sessions every day, doing such exertions, and no one is tired. Why? Because they are in contact with the second layer of energy.
But if you are doing it alone -- go to a hill and do it alone -- you will become tired. When the first layer is finished you will feel, "Now I am tired." But in a big group of five hundred people doing meditation, you feel, "No one is tired, so I should continue a little more." And everyone is thinking the same: "No one is tired, so I should continue a little more. If everyone is fresh and doing, why should I feel tired?"
That group feeling gives you an impetus, and soon you reach the second layer. And the second layer is very big -- an emergency layer. When the emergency layer is also tired, finished, only then are you in contact with the cosmic, the source, the infinite.
That is why much exertion is needed -- so much that you feel, "Now it is going beyond me." The first moment you feel it is going beyond you, it is not going beyond you -- it is just going beyond the first layer. And when the first layer is finished, you will feel tired. When the second layer is finished, you will feel, "If I do anything now, I will be dead." So many come to me, and they say that whenever they reach deep in meditation, a moment comes when they become afraid and scared and they say, "Now I am afraid. It seems as if I am going to die. Now I cannot penetrate any further. A fear grips me, as if I am going to die, now I will not be able to come out of meditation."
That is the right moment -- the moment when you need courage. A little courage, and you will penetrate the third, the deepest, infinite layer.
This technique helps you very easily to fall into that cosmic ocean of energy:
ROAM ABOUT UNTIL EXHAUSTED AND THEN, DROPPING TO THE GROUND, IN THIS DROPPING BE WHOLE. And when you drop to the ground totally, for the first time you will be whole, unitary, one. There will be no fragments, no divisions. The mind with its divisions will disappear, and the being that is undivided, indivisible, will appear for the first time.
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